Grief never stops. It is like a contest pull on your heart, I hole in your body that will never be dug over. Feeling like the pain will never end, and I can not tell you the pain will ever stop. Just hearing their name takes your breath away and you feel the world stop for a very quick second. I know most people have lost someone very close to them so I mourn with you. As we get older we are afraid that memories will fade and you will forget the way the talked or smelt, but that will never happen. Love is the strongest power on this planet and will that power out brain unable to forget someone we ever loved in our lifetime. Grief comes to everyone in many different ways depending on the person. Someone could be grieving for 1 year, 3 years or it wont hit someone for years. With this pain people act out thinking that it will ease the pain, but it doesn't help. The only cure to this incredible pain is the people who surround you people who understand that you might be happy one second of the day and next thing you know you are a sobbing mess. I do it too, trust me its not just you. There is nothing wrong with being weak or unsteady. You are not alone, everyone around has lost someone close to them, so take all the love you can get. Losing someone you have to understand that it happened and you cant take the past back, for me if Im being honest I still cant fully grasp it. I am lucky to have people close to me who understand my heaviness on my heart and help me fill in that hole on my chest. My mom has this poem by EE Cummings that I have known since I little, please read this.
"i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)"